I haven’t posted in a while. My emotions have been so overwhelming that I literally have had no words to describe them. Which I’m pretty sure is bad for a writer. Words, for me, have always been an emotional outlet; expressing and processing my feelings; a way to scream while remaining silent. Lately I’ve been drowning in fear, worry, shock, determination, and focus with no way to get an extra breath except…….One.
Romans 8:26 “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.” (NLT)
It is so much comfort to me that as a child of God, I don’t have to find the words. I don’t have to articulate the storm inside my heart, the raging in my mind. My Heavenly Father knows.
He is my comforter. 2 Corinthians 1:3 “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.”
He is my strength and my help. Psalms 28:7 “The LORD is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.”
He is my hope. Psalms 71:5 “O Lord, you alone are my hope. I’ve trusted you, O LORD, from childhood.”
He is my rock. 1 Samuel 2:2 “No one is holy like the Lord! There is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God.”
My previous post was about my son. The tests results have come in and we met with the neurosurgeon last week and my little guy will be having decompression brain surgery at the end of January for his chiari malformation. As I have said before, I am so grateful that this has been found while he is young and has not had to suffer, but I have also, as a mom grieved for my son. My heart has ached for what he is facing. I have cried out of fear of the horrible spiral of “what ifs” that could happen.
I don’t want him to go through this. I am scared about so many things but it has been during this time that I have felt God’s closeness more than ever before; His presence touching every aspect of our life; our Comforter, our Strength, our Help, our Hope, our Rock.
families unbroken 
I was moved by your post for so many reasons. your references to scriptures hit me to heart… It was as if I needed to hear them at this moment. I myself haven’t Blogged in so long. I have had so much to say but haven’t been able to get out the words and then today it all flooded out. I am a 34 year old women living with Adult Onset Arnold Chiari. I live with Daily pain. My Dr’s try everything they can but nothing really helps… My neurosurgeon wont operate. He has such a high success rate, so he only operates on people that he knows will walk out of it with less chair headaches and because I have chiari and daily he wont help me. But my daily is most likely brought on because of the chair.. Its a slippery slope. I have faith that one day I will live a headache free life. A pain free life. I pray for your son, his surgery. I pray for your family for the strength to get through this time in your life.
I am so glad my post brought you some encouragement as well as inspiration to write! Chiari is new to us and I don’t know much. I know even less about adult onset chiari. I do know it is an invisible illness…that others tend to want to tell you to suck it up because you look “just fine”…but God sees what others do not! He does have a plan, a purpose although I can see that it can get lost in the daily pain and struggle. I have chronic headaches and I have found some things that have helped. I will pray that you will as well! Also, I would get a second opinion from another neurosurgeon if at all possible. I have several friends that have gone through decompression surgery and it has given them their life back…..Thank you so much for praying for my son. It really means so much!