Jack is a wonderfully gifted, inquisitive, articulate 9 year old boy with a beautiful, sweet warmth about him. His strong determined mom is a blogger friend of mine and for the past year or so I’ve been following her powerful emotional story of co-parenting (if you can even call it that) with a narcissist. For years she has struggled to move mountains to get the help and encouragement for this highly gifted child with an IQ in the 98th percentile. When Jack was 7, because of her efforts of trying to get him enrolled in the Gifted Academy, she lost custody of her son through a very broken court system. A court system that felt it was better to not look to experts in the field of gifted children but rather to the squeaky wheel that was screaming for grease. Her parenting time has now been reduced to 8 days a month!
Since the custody change, Jack’s anxiety has increased to an all time high. He has shared with his mom after crying uncontrollably for the first hour of most visits with her that his father is abusing him mentally, emotionally, and physically and since the courts are not monitoring him and this man has complete control, the abuse has escalated to an alarming level. One small example of this is that Jack is afraid of heights so his father held him by his leg and suspended him over the railing of the deck 20 feet off the ground to teach him not to be afraid! Countless times he has been called a baby, stupid, and an idiot. He is not allowed to cry. I could go on with many other examples.
I was deeply moved by this brave mom’s post, her message of hope that she has received from God through her son and her anxious fear as she goes to the court of appeals on April 15 to plead with them to overturn the custody ruling. This is the link to this post and I encourage you to please read it! You will be so inspired by this amazing little boy.
Today we had a prayer service at church. A time where we can be prayed over, take communion,light candles and also literally carry our burdens and nail them to a wooden cross. My daughter and I solemnly lit a candle for Jack. And we prayed. Prayer changes things and so I asked God would surround this situation with His almighty power. I prayed that Jack and his mom would feel that power and strength in such a way that they would know a peace that they have never known in the midst of this raging storm. I am asking that everyone will join me on April 15, in the middle of working, business of life, tax deadlines, etc…to stop just a moment and pray for this hearing. Pray for this dedicated mom. Pray for Jack.
I have been thinking and meditating on Psalms 10 which is such a powerful chapter. Here are a few verses that really speak to me. Psalms 10:10-11 ESV “The helpless are crushed, sink down, and fall by his might. He says in his heart, “God has forgotten, he has hidden his face, he will never see it.” Verses 14, 17-18 “But you do see, for you note mischief and vexation, that you may take it into your hands; to you the helpless commits himself; you have been the helper of the fatherless. O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more.”
Pray for Jack.
4 thoughts on “A Candle For Jack”
Funny, I came across her blog this afternoon and was so saddened by her court experience today. There is no hurt and frustration like fighting for the well being of your child (blood or not), because its our JOB to keep them safe, and regardless of the relationship between the parents, its should be the common goal. Definitely praying for their fam, and for all blended families in this position, that God have His way and that righteousness wins out.
Ursula, thank you for your thoughts! I was so upset as well over how things went in court but was so inspired by her courage and determination! It’s hard for me to sit back and just let God be God when it comes to situations like this and I will probably post something on that soon. It reminds me of the verse where the Lord says “My thoughts are higher than your thoughts”. I don’t understand why or how this is God’s plan but as you said His righteousness will win out. Thx for the reminder!
I started reading her blog not long after I left my own narcissist/father of my own gifted and hypersensitive twin boys.
Her horror story of coparenting reaffirmed my choice to stay with a monster until my boys were old enough for their own needs and wants to matter to the courts (they were 16 when some friends helped us throw our belongings in trash bags and run away while he was at work).
I think about her and “Tornado Boy” often, and I am so afraid for his safety. I was actually looking for her blog when I stumbled across yours, and it seems like her blog is no longer active.
So, please give her my love and tell her I hope she and her son are doing well. I’m just a random person who saw her blog, of course, but I was touched by her story.
Hi Heather! I apologize for not responding sooner. I have been overwhelmed with the health issues that have been going on with my kids. I miss her blog so much. I have cried and prayed right along with her. I will absolutely let her know of your love and prayers! She has been doing well lately and has putting her creative talent into photography and it is just as creatively beautiful as her writing.