“We are a product of our past but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.” -Rick Warren The Purpose Driven Life.
My daughter came home one day from school very upset and crying. For several months another girl at school seemed to love to gossip and talk about her which she would just let roll off her back. I know for a fact she had tried to make peace with this gal more than once and I was really proud of her for it because I know that with her being so much like me, it really bothered her to be talked about like that when she had tried to be decent and cordial to the girl. However, on this particular occasion she was extremely hurt and affected by her words. She shared with me that this gossip girl had been saying nasty things about me and the fact I had been married three times. I knew that this day would eventually come. I knew that at some point, my children would suffer the consequences of my mistakes and being teased or put down for it was to be expected. This is not a situation that every child will face. This is a situation exclusive to the families that are not considered “normal”. This is what children face from broken homes and it breaks my heart because the situation is not their fault but they still have to suffer the consequences. I’ve talked before about the best we can do for our kids in a blender is be as stable as we can in this “not-so-stable” situation. I talked with her and told her how sorry I was that she had to be hurt like that, that our situation, our family is what it is. We absolutely cannot change the past but we can definitely look to God to shape our future. I told her that I am secure in who I am today and have grown and learned so much more about who I was created to be through all the heartache and pain. All I can do is be the best mom, wife, and christian woman I can be from here on out. I have been honest with her about my mistakes and talked with her about making better choices when it comes to marriage and relationships. I told her that she should never let them make her feel less or that something was wrong with her because, most importantly, I reminded her that God created her with a purpose in mind and she should try and strive to fulfill His purpose. (Ephesians 2:10 “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”)
I was able to really talk to her about these things also, I too, have been made to feel that way. I have been excluded, looked down on, and made to feel ashamed and less than others. I felt like that up until I realized that not only had God forgiven me but I had to learn to forgive myself. Please read a previous blog post about forgiveness if this is an issue you are struggling with about your past entitled “New Year Old Past”… Don’t ever forget that God made you for a purpose too!