“We are a product of our past but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.” -Rick Warren The Purpose Driven Life.
My daughter came home one day from school very upset and crying. For several months another girl at school seemed to love to gossip and talk about her which she would just let roll off her back. I know for a fact she had tried to make peace with this gal more than once and I was really proud of her for it because I know that with her being so much like me, it really bothered her to be talked about like that when she had tried to be decent and cordial to the girl. However, on this particular occasion she was extremely hurt and affected by her words. She shared with me that this gossip girl had been saying nasty things about me and the fact I had been married three times. I knew that this day would eventually come. I knew that at some point, my children would suffer the consequences of my mistakes and being teased or put down for it was to be expected. This is not a situation that every child will face. This is a situation exclusive to the families that are not considered “normal”. This is what children face from broken homes and it breaks my heart because the situation is not their fault but they still have to suffer the consequences. I’ve talked before about the best we can do for our kids in a blender is be as stable as we can in this “not-so-stable” situation. I talked with her and told her how sorry I was that she had to be hurt like that, that our situation, our family is what it is. We absolutely cannot change the past but we can definitely look to God to shape our future. I told her that I am secure in who I am today and have grown and learned so much more about who I was created to be through all the heartache and pain. All I can do is be the best mom, wife, and christian woman I can be from here on out. I have been honest with her about my mistakes and talked with her about making better choices when it comes to marriage and relationships. I told her that she should never let them make her feel less or that something was wrong with her because, most importantly, I reminded her that God created her with a purpose in mind and she should try and strive to fulfill His purpose. (Ephesians 2:10 “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”)
I was able to really talk to her about these things also, I too, have been made to feel that way. I have been excluded, looked down on, and made to feel ashamed and less than others. I felt like that up until I realized that not only had God forgiven me but I had to learn to forgive myself. Please read a previous blog post about forgiveness if this is an issue you are struggling with about your past entitled “New Year Old Past”… Don’t ever forget that God made you for a purpose too!
6 thoughts on “Purposefully Made”
Wow that is awesome!!!! You are a awesome mom and wife and even though you have made mistakes you have learned from them and unfortanetly you are right our kids end up sometimes paying the price for them but i think in the end our kids learn from our mistakes and they become stronger than we are…. Thanks for sharing this……
Thank you so much for your encouraging words!! Yes that is what I hope and pray for too…that my kids will not only learn from my mistakes but be all the more stronger for it!! Thank you also for supporting me and letting me know your thoughts! It means so much!
You are definitely showing her how to be strong by the life you lead. A strong person is not the one without scars, but has the scars to show the battles they have won! I’ve been there and had to explain to my daughter why her last name was different than ours and why I wasn’t with her father. She & her classmates are still too young to fully understand yet. Keep your head up and looking toward heaven. Your past has made you who you are and look at your life now. WOW! You have a lovely “blended” family.
You could not be more right! I most certainly do and so do you!! God has taught me so much through the pain and I am definitely trying to be that example for my kids. Thank you so much for your encouraging words and support! It really means so much to know that I as a “blendermom” am not alone! 😉
Kids can be so mean!! Good for you for having a heart to heart to explain it.
Yes they absolutely can be very mean! It has been a bit eye opening that’s for sure! Thank you so much for the encouraging words and for being such a good friend!