Merry CHRISTmas

Nativity

Merry Christmas Eve!  Have you ever noticed how much more accepted it is to mention God in society today but you mention the name of Jesus and the mood quickly changes?  In a book I read written by a celebrity, she kept saying “I pray to the god of my understanding”.  That is what is so sad! It’s an accepted new age belief that “god is everything and everything is god”.  Society has become so focused on not offending others that, to me, they have nothing to believe in or stand for.  I feel that this has caused so many to try so hard to take Christ out of Christmas in so many ways. To me though, the joke is on them because the harder they try the more they are brought back to Jesus.  It’s like the old saying that the more you try not to think about something the more you think about it.  Christmas is all about the birth of Jesus.  The two have become ingrainded over centuries.   You can’t think Christmas without thinking about Christ, even if you are trying to leave Him out.  I encourage you this Christmas to seek Jesus.  If you are unsure or doubting who He is start with More than a Carpenter by Josh McDowell.  He was an atheist who set out to prove that Jesus was just a man. You will seek me and

find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13.  Seek Him! He will give you something to believe in, something to stand for…

Also something interesting..Jesus was in a blended family…please read my previous blog post http://blendermom.me/jesus-was-from-a-blended-family a msg I copied from Jeremiah Wright Jr.

Merry Christmas blessings from my family to yours.

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Blended Families ..becoming the new norm

The numbers are very surprising but it seems that blended families are becoming the new norm these days and rates are on the rise.  If that is true then why isn’t there more help and guidance for us blendermoms.  Yes there are some books and things but this is the very reason that prompted me to start this blog and share my life.  The bottom line is blended families have less chance of making it and being successful because they are blended.  This breaks my heart!  The children involved have had their world torn apart and have had to deal with more than they should ever have to deal with in their young lives already.  We owe it to them to do every thing we possibly can to be strong and stable for them.  My blog is about being in a blender but as you’ve noticed I have talked alot about marriage.  That is because if your marriage is not strong it will not last and the children will once again pay.  My husband had a boy tell him one day that he would be able to build  stairs to the sky with all the step fathers he had.  His mom was on her third marriage and it was on the rocks at the time and he was feeling scared and anxious.  Let me state clearly and concisely it was not one of our boys but it could be if my husband and I haven’t made our marriage and each other a priority.  One of the major difficulties in blenders is the issue of discipline.  You have to talk about it and decide first how you want to discipline the kids.  Like I have said before we sat down and came up with house rules for our children and what the consequences would be.  I have never felt comfortable with spanking my bonus son so I don’t do it.  My husband is the main disciplinarian for his son and I am his supporter.  My husband’s role is the same for me and my children.  That works for us really well.  Let’s have a very “get really real” moment, shall we? There is a big potential for a step parent to be harder on the step child than their own bioligical children!  Yes I said it!  I didn’t say every step parent but I think the potential is greater there because there isn’t an emotional bond there as strong especially at the beginning.  The bond comes as your family grows closer in love and grows in stability.  I feel personally that just supporting the bio parent as they try to discipline their child is a win win situation.  It makes the two of you act as one, strong for each other and it cuts down on resentment from the child.  This is a video of a Dr. Phil interview on the Early Show.  He gives some very good guidelines for blended families.  It’s basic and straight forward.  Let me state I am not being paid by Dr. Phil or The Early Show for placing this video on my blog.  (But boy wouldn’t it be nice haha)

 

 

Priorities, respect, and the marriage wheel of bliss- Priority 1

God_first_priority

I think priorities in life are very important. They help keep you in your lane in this race of life.  They help keep you focused and running in the right direction. I feel that priorities are that much more important in the blender because of the different dynamics already going on in the mix.   I think family priorities should be:

1. God

2. Spouse/marriage 

3. Kids

4. Work/friends/anything else you want to fill in the blank

Today, lets focus on priority #1.  I strongly feel that as a Christian, God should be your first priority.  It can be very hard to do this, I know.  You have the husband, the kids, the job that demand every thing from you, so how can we possibly put God first?  Well, actually, I think it is more simple than you think.  Psalm 119:15 “I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways.”  As a christian I believe you have the Holy Spirit living inside of you.  (1 Cor 3:16 NLT says the Holy Spirit, whom you received from God, lives in you.) That tells me to really listen to that voice inside of me that’s telling me whether this feels right or not.  You have heard the expression “go with your gut”.  Well I feel that God through the Holy Spirit is my gut.  Yep, sounds a little weird but think about it…it makes sense!  Another very easy way besides listening to the Spirit in your heart is to memorize scripture and repeat it to yourself during those difficult times.  I struggle with anxiety and have since I was in high school.  Some times I feel I have victory over it and some times it rears its very nasty horrible ugly head!  During these times I have found that if I repeat some verses that mean a lot to me, it helps me to get through that anxious moment.  (this for me is meditating on His word)  One of my favorite verses is Joshua 1:9 “This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”  (If you really want to have a good time, read Joshua 1:7-9!)  Another thing that will help put God first is PRAYER!  When I first wake up in the morning before my feet hit the floor, I say a prayer.  It isn’t a long drawn out thing, just a quick prayer for me to get my day started, to pray for mine, my husband’s, and my children’s day.  If you read in Luke 18 about the Pharisees you will find that although they were very well respected in society, they were also very self righteous and viewed themselves better and more “spiritual” than every one else.  To put God first in your life does not mean for you to be a Pharisee (just practicing religion).  It is not about showing up every time the church doors are open, praying the loudest, or knowing the most scripture.  It is about meeting God right where you are in your little corner of the world.  Keeping Him in the forefront of your mind and letting him quietly lead you in your heart.  It’s living up to the potential he created you to be.  (for more of that refer to my previous post “Great Expectations”)  Everything else will follow according to His path if you just start where you are….  Next post is about Priority 2 (marriage) Yikes!

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Great Expectations

Some times I struggle.  Haha I bet you’re thinking duh, we all struggle.  That is true, we all do.  However, let me explain further. I’m not talking about being a blender mom.  Yes, that has its set of struggles but I’m talking about being a mom, being a wife, being a Christian woman, that is where I struggle too.  Where is my place in this world?  What is my true idenity?  What is God’s purpose for me in this life? I know you have often asked those questions to yourself like I have.  Here are some things to think about when you find yourself wrestling with this issue as we all will at times.  First, God gave you everything you need to be great when He made you!!  Read Psalm 139, the entire chapter declares this.  Then read 139:13-16  You were made complex and awesome! Do not underestimate this! Next, is a verse that I heard taught about in a message by Diane Wilson.  Look up Genesis 1:27&31 of the amplified Bible.  Take hold of those words in vs 31 “and He approved it completely”.  You were approved of completely when you were made!  I was made to think by a marriage in the past that I was somehow made wrong.  I could not say the right things and do the right things without provoking rage.  I became broken in my soul.  I was told day in and day out that I was not smart or capable.  I was slowly taught to not trust myself and in turn to not trust the Holy Spirit living in my heart.  I came across Psalm 139 one day.  I had heard it before but never really took it in.  God reminded me that day that He does not make mistakes and He did not make a mistake when he made me.  Study His word and know that he made you with a purpose in mind, so expect more of yourself than what other people in your life that may be trying to drag you down make you think you are not capable of doing.  Expect more from God too, the One who made you!   God’s plan for you is not some great difficult trial.  It is as simple as taking what you love and are good at and using it for Him.  I love being a mom and creating a home and memories for my children are very important to me.  I feel it is my purpose in life to raise these children that God has given me to love Him in a powerful way. It is to help them realize that He made them complex and awesome too.  Guess what?  It is those simple desires that God created in me that I feel He wants to use.  When you are looking for your purpose in life, start simple, right where you are.  What are some things that you love to do or feel you are good at?  Then ask yourself how could you use that for His glory? 

“Trusting God completely means having faith that He knows what is best for your life. You expect Him to keep His promises, help you with problems, and do the impossible when necessary.”
Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth am I Here for?