Blended Families ..becoming the new norm

The numbers are very surprising but it seems that blended families are becoming the new norm these days and rates are on the rise.  If that is true then why isn’t there more help and guidance for us blendermoms.  Yes there are some books and things but this is the very reason that prompted me to start this blog and share my life.  The bottom line is blended families have less chance of making it and being successful because they are blended.  This breaks my heart!  The children involved have had their world torn apart and have had to deal with more than they should ever have to deal with in their young lives already.  We owe it to them to do every thing we possibly can to be strong and stable for them.  My blog is about being in a blender but as you’ve noticed I have talked alot about marriage.  That is because if your marriage is not strong it will not last and the children will once again pay.  My husband had a boy tell him one day that he would be able to build  stairs to the sky with all the step fathers he had.  His mom was on her third marriage and it was on the rocks at the time and he was feeling scared and anxious.  Let me state clearly and concisely it was not one of our boys but it could be if my husband and I haven’t made our marriage and each other a priority.  One of the major difficulties in blenders is the issue of discipline.  You have to talk about it and decide first how you want to discipline the kids.  Like I have said before we sat down and came up with house rules for our children and what the consequences would be.  I have never felt comfortable with spanking my bonus son so I don’t do it.  My husband is the main disciplinarian for his son and I am his supporter.  My husband’s role is the same for me and my children.  That works for us really well.  Let’s have a very “get really real” moment, shall we? There is a big potential for a step parent to be harder on the step child than their own bioligical children!  Yes I said it!  I didn’t say every step parent but I think the potential is greater there because there isn’t an emotional bond there as strong especially at the beginning.  The bond comes as your family grows closer in love and grows in stability.  I feel personally that just supporting the bio parent as they try to discipline their child is a win win situation.  It makes the two of you act as one, strong for each other and it cuts down on resentment from the child.  This is a video of a Dr. Phil interview on the Early Show.  He gives some very good guidelines for blended families.  It’s basic and straight forward.  Let me state I am not being paid by Dr. Phil or The Early Show for placing this video on my blog.  (But boy wouldn’t it be nice haha)

 

 

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