A New Heart

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So here is a short devotional thought for the blendermom/stepmom….

Ezekiel 36:26 “And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.”

During my engagement to my husband, I scoured the internet reading posts, forums, articles, etc….about blended families and being a stepmom. The relationship with my little 6 year old stepson was very important to me and I wanted to do things right. I remember reading forums, posts and articles about stepfamilies and stepmoms.

I was surprised at how many stepmoms are struggling.  There were numerous posts about how the stepmom can’t stand the stepkids, or how the stepchild tries to manipulate to get more attention from their father, or that the husband doesn’t understand.

The thing is, the father and his kids are a package deal.

Maybe you are one of those moms.  You may feel hopeless in your family situation but prayer changes things. Maybe it’s not the stepchildren, but your relationship with your husband that needs mending. God doesn’t want your family to fail. God wants your family to be strong, compassionate, and loving. And I truly believe it starts inside our own heart first.

I encourage you to pray for your husband and your children no matter how you “feel”.  Ask Him to help you see them through His eyes and ask Him to change your heart. Ezekiel 36:26 is a promise that God will change your heart if you are willing and open. Don’t think for one second that because your family was a product of divorce that God thinks less of you! Remember that Jesus lived in a blended family…

1 Peter 5:7 “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Let God work healing in your marriage and family.  Let Him start by giving you a new heart.

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The Other Mothers

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I don’t typically write about the “other mothers”. I feel strongly about sharing things about our blended family but there is a fine line between sharing my heart and gossip/slander. Yes there has been times where I have wanted to vent out my frustrations in my posts but other than making me feel better, how would that truly help the situation? However, I am going to share some thoughts on the subject and maybe give advice to other “blendermoms” who are stepmoms, biomoms, or like me, both. Be mindful that I am only speaking from a place where both parents are active in all 3 of my children’s lives.

1. Respect the biomom for who she is regardless of what you may personally think of her.

I know this may hit a nerve with some stepmoms because stepmoms are often not treated with kindness, courtesy, or respect. However, if the biomom is in the child’s life there is no one that can or should take her place.

I do not have a relationship with my son’s stepmom. When she was first introduced to my son, he was told to call her “Miss” and by her first name but 5 months later when his dad married her, they immediately started on a campaign to force him to call her mom because she was pregnant.

To read the rest of this article go to http://familyfusioncommunity.com/2014/01/30/the-other-mothers/ and let me know your thoughts on the “other mothers” in your life.

The Integrity of Potting Soil

ImageI have some new spring flowers to plant so I went to a brand new hardware store that just opened a few weeks ago in our community yesterday.  There were about 10 workmen working on building wooden displays just outside the store for their gardening area and in the middle of all the cords, saws, wood, and men was the display of potting soil.  I went inside and got the young sales girl to walk with me outside to help with which type I should purchase.  After deciding, I tried to pick up the bag, which was wet from the rain for the last several days as well as weighed about 40lbs.  She volunteered to carry it but she struggled more than me.  Finally she said I could go in and pay for it and then drive up closer to get my soil.  After paying and driving my car up to the curb, I walked back through the work zone, and struggling, managed to hoist the wet bag to the car.  Struggling again, I got the car door open while balancing my burden on one propped up leg and finally dropped it onto the front seat.  I literally worked up a sweat!  I became more and more angry on the drive home. There were 10 or more men working right there, some were busy and some stopped to stare even, but not a single one offered to take less than a minute of their time to put the heavy bag in my car for me.  It really got me to thinking about integrity.

Is it just me or does it seem that boys aren’t raised to have integrity these days or to be gentlemen.  We have talked with our kids, particularly our boys about having integrity.  We have explained that integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is looking.  We have done devotions and family prayer time on it as well.  I really want my boys to know that being a gentleman means conducting yourself with integrity.  We also have a young teen daughter and the things boys have said to her or around her were unimaginable in my day.  Oh I am sure that issues and topics haven’t changed all that much but it seems that there are no boundaries or respect in society today.  It’s the “it’s all about me” or “if it feels good” mentality.

Now think about what potting soil is used for…  It is to create a safe nutrient rich environment in order for plants to thrive and grow to be their best.  That is exactly what I want to do for my children.  I want to be what they need to help them flourish.  I want them to automatically do for others.  I want them to see opportunities, even those small gestures such as carrying a bag of potting soil and take them without having to think about it.  I want it to become part of who they are, not because of how others will view them on the outside but because of who they are in their heart and in their spirit.  If more parents would really focus and invest time in becoming great potting soil for their kids just how much better an environment would be created for our children so they don’t just grow up to be adults but grow up to thrive and flourish.  Proverbs 22:6 NLT “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Heavenly Father, help me as a mom and bonus mom be the soil that my children become rooted and grounded in honor, respect, and integrity so that they will bloom and flourish into what You have created them to be.

“Children are not casual guests in our home. They have been loaned to us temporarily for the purpose of loving them and instilling a foundation of values on which their future lives will be built.”  Dr. James Dobson