Respect & Marriage Boundaries & Freaks

September 25, 2013Leave a comment

I’ve talked a lot about marriage, respect, and the marital wheel of bliss in previous blogs and it’s about respecting your husband and your marriage. I don’t even begin to pretend I am a marriage expert but I have learned from my numerous mistakes! Lately, however, I’ve been thinking about others respecting the marriage boundaries. I was speaking with a friend the other day and she was telling me about her ex husband. She related to me that they were having a lot of problems and that as they were trying to work it out, he began receiving texts from a couple of single gals he worked with. She felt that was highly inappropriate for a married man. There may be some who will disagree but I think it is inappropriate too. I feel that if you have close friendships with the opposite sex it opens a door for trouble ESPECIALLY if you are having problems in your marriage.

Moving on, it got me to thinking about the single girls doing the texting. It feels as if the enemy is attacking marriages. Look at the statistics about broken homes, divorce, and remarriage. Remarriages have a much lower chance of surviving so I personally think there has to be strong boundaries set around your marriage. Why does it seem that when ladies see a wedding ring on a guy’s finger they see it more of a challenge and not an “off limits” sign? Does it make them feel better about themselves that they can get a supposedly committed man away from his commitment? Does it make them feel powerful to get a married man to flirt with them? It may say a lot about the man involved but it screams a lot about the woman to me. At any rate, my husband and I had a situation that arose a few years ago from a single gal and I’m going to share the story and how I handled it.

My husband received a message on facebook from a girl he had went to high school with and knew only as an acquaintance. She was asking him about another girl he had dated. He showed me the message and we decided he would msg her back and ask why she was asking. This gal proceeded to respond with how she had a huge crush on my husband back in high school. How this other girl had gone behind her back and went out with him because she herself wanted him. She talked about how gorgeous she thought he was then and then went on and on about how gorgeous he was now. I read the msg and it pissed me off! This crazy freak lived several states away and it wasn’t like I was worried in any way but if you are on our facebook page you can easily see that my husband is a family man with pictures of me and our kids plastered all over the page. Yet, instead of commenting for all to see, she wants to send him private messages of how she is still crushing on him. He said he would immediately delete her from his friends in which I agreed but I told him to wait first. I decided to send her a msg on his behalf and this is what I sent. (note that I did not act like a jealous freak or cuss her out; a fact at which I am prod of seeing as to how angry I was.)

“Why in the world would you say some thing like that to a married man and especially to a married man with children?

Don’t get me wrong! This is not about me being worried about my marriage or anything, it’s just that it is very

inappropriate on your part.

Obviously your lack of respect for marriage and family values would lead me to the conclusion

that you are also lacking in character.”

I signed my name and hit the send button. (Hehehe!) I still chuckle about it a little bit. I can only imagine her face when she read it and surprisingly (I’m being sarcastic) we never received a reply from her! What could she say really?

I share this to say protect your marriage period! 1Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals.”

What’s So Great About 4?

September 6, 20136 Comments

Earlier this summer, I was driving down the road on the way to the grocery store, listening to the radio when the overly zealous radio DJ announces that if you are the 10th caller your name will be entered in a drawing to win a family 4-pack of tickets to go see an upcoming show at the local coliseum. I get to the store and begin my grocery shopping. I head for the meat department to check out the sales. I notice that there are packs of fresh ground meat hamburgers all conveniently made into large patties in packs of 4. I chug home after finishing the task of grocery shopping, put things away and finally sit down and grab my laptop. Although we had already had an amazing beach vacation at the beginning of the summer, I wanted to look up some prices for a possible trip toward the end of the summer. I go to the various websites and search the packages and specials. There is countless, and I do mean countless deals on theme park tickets, food, and lodging for (you guessed it) a family of 4. Deciding that we did not have enough money I started looking into alternative options for the summer. A local water park at a lake 20 minutes from our home was running a special for a summer pass at an amazing deal for a FAMILY OF 4! After this happened for the 4th time (pun intended) that day I started to ask myself, is society trying to tell us something? There are so many deals and so many specials geared toward the family and every single one of them for family is limited to 4! It seems there are so many differences of opinion out there about families and the ones that society seems to want to force upon us is referred to as being politically correct. Is it that perhaps if you are a family of 4 you are politically correct and the ones that have less than or in my case, more than 4 are politically incorrect? I can’t help but ask the obvious question here; what’s so great about 4? Is that society’s way of reminding us at every turn “ok you have 2 children, you’re done now”?! Maybe, if you are a family of 3, well I guess it might not be too bad, you can bring a friend.

I asked my husband how he felt about the subject with all the family deals, coupons, or specials are geared toward families of 4. He said that society certainly seems to be biased toward families that have 2 kids. He says he feels like it is inconsiderate to the larger families and I am going to have to agree. Wouldn’t it seem that if you have more than 2 kids would you not need the discount and specials that much more because you have more mouths to feed? Seriously what are these companies thinking? “sorry but we only have 4 passes kids so pick a number between 1 and 10 to see which one of you has to sit this one out”! It seems that we are seeing more and more blended and expanded families these days. I think it’s time we changed the standard! Who’s with me??

Psalms 127:3-5a “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.”

Broken & Blessed

May 7, 20131 Comment

I can’t believe that this week I will be celebrating 5 years of marriage with my wonderful husband. It seems like it was only yesterday we were married and yet we have been through so incredibly much! I remember in a previous marriage I was married for 7 years and yet it felt more like 20 years. I’ve written about that experience in a few previous blogs but you can read this one to get an idea https://blendermom3.wordpress.com/2012/10/05/abuse-is-abuse/. Obviously it was a very dark time for me. I learned so much about myself as a Christian woman, mother, and wife after I got away from that situation and started to heal. I felt like I had fallen into a deep dark hole. I felt like I was made wrong. I felt inadequate. I felt broken in my soul. I could say that it was all in God’s plan but I honestly do not think it was His Will for me to marry that man. However, guess what? God takes our mistakes and what little we give him and uses them for His purpose anyway! I heard this in a sermon by Bishop T. D. Jakes. In Mark 6:41 NLT “Jesus took the five loaves and two fish, looked up toward heaven, and blessed them. Then, breaking the loaves into pieces, he kept giving the bread to the disciples so they could distribute it to the people. He also divided the fish for everyone to share.” Rev. Jakes revealed in that scripture that God broke it. Then, God blessed what was less than enough. Lastly, God multiplied what was broken. Wow!! Take a minute to let the Reverend’s words sink in! God broke it. God blessed it. God multiplied it. Through all the pain and brokenness God took what little I gave him and blessed me and gave me a heart to share these experiences in hopes it might touch others. He gave me three beautiful children to teach them about God’s amazing love and he gave me a sweet loving husband that I can serve right along side and together to try and be an example of that amazing love is to our children. Read that scripture and think on those words. Try and think on even in those darkest times when it’s hard to see it that there is a blessing waiting. When you feel like you are broken in your soul like I did, God will still bless what is not enough and make it more than enough.